Magician's View
by Liselle129
Summary: A series of scenes from Magician's Ward as veiwed through Mairelon's eyes. Mairelon's Proposal. Shortly after the previous chapter, Richard fulfills his promise.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Mairelon and associated characters belong to Patricia C. Wrede, as well as the dialogue. The introspection is mine.

Author's Note: This seems to be the place for Wrede fanfiction, so I'm posting my story here. I know I am not the first person to think that several scenes in Magician's Ward just begged to be told from Mairelon's point of view, and I may eventually decide to rewrite the entire book that way. In the meantime, however, I'll start with certain selected scenes. I'm also calling him Richard because that's probably how he thinks of himself. This one takes place the morning after he's lost his magic.

**Trusting Mairelon**

Richard Merrill, sometimes known as Mairelon the Magician, was decidedly worried. His ward and apprentice, Kim, was not present when he came down to breakfast the morning after the musical evening that had ended so disastrously. He picked at his food, finding that he didn't have much appetite. Between losing his magical ability, listening to his aunt and mother talk of his ward as though she were already practically engaged to a man she'd just met last night, and the absence of said ward today, his nerves were worn raw and his stomach churning.

Richard had an idea of where Kim might be, which didn't make him feel any better. It was dangerous, and she shouldn't have gone off on her own. When she finally entered the dining hall, he was relieved to see her safe, but she'd clearly tried to hide the fact that she'd been gone at all, which only deepened his concern.

Richard was still not really used to having another person to be responsible for, and Kim was very self-reliant and capable in any case. Admittedly, he might have wished her otherwise in the present circumstance. The vague hints she gave when she sat down confirmed his suspicions, although his relief at her appearance settled him enough that he was able to down a piece of toast as she sat down to eat.

However, the worry he'd felt just minutes earlier gradually transformed into an unfamiliar anger – anger that she'd taken unnecessary risks and made him worry about her. During the course of the conversation, he found it necessary to halt his Aunt Agatha's constant haranguing, as that was not improving his mood any.

"Aunt," he said in a level but authoritative voice. "My apprentice and ward will explain to _me_ immediately after breakfast. I trust that is clear?" He rarely pulled rank on her like that, or on anyone for that matter, but in this case, he felt it was justified. Aunt Agatha did have a distressing habit of forgetting that she had no official place in Kim's life. Besides, it was none of her business that his magic had been drained, and he was certain that Kim's morning errand somehow related to that.

As soon as Kim had finished eating, Richard instructed her to meet him in the library for their talk. He couldn't remember ever being angry with her before, and he didn't like the feeling.

"Well?" he said without preamble, as soon as the library door was closed behind him.

"I went to Mannering's office," she confessed. Even though Richard had partially expected this, he found that he was irrationally upset.

"_What_?" he exploded "Are you mad? Didn't you think at all? If Mannering is behind this—"

"I thought for most of the night," she cut him off. Her expression was apologetic, if not exactly repentant. "I saw right off that Mannering was in this somewhere, but I didn't think you had yet."

"Then why didn't you mention it?"

"Because I was worried you'd go off and do something goose-witted," she admitted after a pause. "You've done it before."

For a long moment, Richard could only stare at her. He would be the first to admit that he had been known to do things that were something less than wise, but he'd promised her he wouldn't go after Mannering without discussing it with her first. A gentleman's word was his bond, and even though he might not be strictly proper (as his aunt was continually reminding him), he was nonetheless offended that she could doubt his.

"Not after I said I wouldn't," he said stiffly.

"When—" Kim broke off, a sheepish look crossing her face. "I forgot." Mairelon blinked at her, nonplussed that someone with such a good memory could have forgotten something like that. She paused, looking down at her hands. "Nobody ever – I never knew anybody before that…that would do that. Not with something this big, not when it was only somethin' they said to me."

"I see," said Richard, and his attitude warmed considerably. He sometimes forgot where she came from, that she had had to shift for herself most of her life. Maybe he didn't forget, exactly, but he failed to acknowledge some of the implications of it. Still, he'd thought their friendship had progressed farther than that, and he was a little bit hurt to discover that he had been mistaken. Friendship…why did that word seem inadequate and unsatisfactory somehow? It had never seemed so before. "So to keep me from doing something goose-witted, you did it yourself. Why? And why in heaven's name didn't you at least tell me what you were planning?" She turned away from him before answering.

"I had to do _something_. You looked…you were…I just had to do something, that's all. And I didn't say because I was afraid you'd stop me. I can see now I should of trusted you, but – well, I never had nobody I _could_ trust like that before. I'm not used to it."

Kim wiped at her eyes, and Richard realized that she was crying. In all their time together, he had never seen her cry, and the experience was far from pleasant. He now realized that he hadn't fully understood how difficult it was for her to trust people and how lucky he was that she'd been willing to trust him as much as she had so quickly. His throat tightened as he realized that it was suddenly very important to him to prove worthy of that trust.

"Anybody you could trust. Not 'nobody,'" he choked out, knowing it was ridiculous to correct her grammar at a time like this but unable to think of anything else to say. He needed something to break the palpable tension in the room. It seemed to work, as he watched the set of her shoulders relax slightly.

"Anybody," she repeated dutifully. "Anyway, I'm sorry."

"I'm afraid I must apologize as well," he sighed, regaining his composure, although he continued to study her back carefully. Kim turned around to face him again. "I didn't mention Mannering for the same reason you didn't – I didn't want you to go haring off after him. I forgot that _you_ hadn't promised anyone you wouldn't."

Richard's mind was catching up to some of the other things Kim had said. He _had_ been distraught when he'd discovered that his magic was gone, but he hadn't noticed how deeply that had affected her. She had done this for him, to protect him, even as he had avoided mentioning Mannering to protect her. This mutual protectiveness between them was something new, and he didn't know quite how to respond to it.

"Well, I won't do it again," she promised.

"Good," he said and proceeded to ask her about what she'd learned on her little excursion. He hoped he had adequately made his point to her. He had let her know not only that she could trust him, but also that he expected her to keep any promise she gave. More than anything, he was glad that the tense, uncomfortable moment between them had passed.

--

Author's Note: Of course, there were a couple of scenes earlier where Mairelon displayed the beginnings of jealousy, but this scene struck me as particularly emotional, even if most of it wasn't overt, so I wanted to start with it.


	2. Chapter 2: Mairelon in the Library

Disclaimer: I do not own Mairelon the Magician or Kim, but I do own the conversation between Richard and Lord Franton.

Author's Note: I'm sorry this took so long. I've been working on it for weeks, and it took more effort than I expected. I've also been trying to keep up with the multi-chapter story I'm wrapping up in another area of the site. Here we get into the more T-rated portion of the story, with references to drunkenness and prostitution.

**Mairelon in the Library**

Richard was in the library – where he spent most of his time these days – when Lord Franton was announced. Richard was surprised by this, as he had not spent a great deal of time with the younger man. Kim certainly had, but he was trying not to think about that too much.

"I'll receive him here," he instructed the footman. "And have a decanter of brandy and two glasses sent up." When Lord Franton, Marquis of Harsfeld, was brought to the library door, Richard bowed to him very correctly.

"You must be aware that Kim is away this evening," he remarked, and the marquis nodded.

"I was invited to the same event myself, but I had some more pressing business I wished to complete," Franton replied. At that point, the brandy arrived, so Richard ushered Lord Franton into the library and gestured for the tray to be set upon the table. When the servant had departed, Richard gestured his visitor to a chair and offered him a drink.

"No, thank you," Franton refused. "I don't think…that is, I don't expect to be here that long." Richard shrugged and poured himself a glass anyway before sitting down. He noted that Franton was perched nervously on the edge of his chair, and Richard regarded him carefully for a moment.

_Was I ever that young? _Richard wondered. Strictly speaking, he was not that much older than the marquis – perhaps six or seven years – but getting falsely accused of burglary and spending the next four years in a war zone did tend to age one.

"To what do I owe this honor?" he asked when he was settled into his seat.

"The honor is all mine," Franton responded. "At least, I hope it will be." He hesitated briefly. "I apologize, but I haven't done this sort of thing before. I suppose I'll just come out and say it. I'd like to ask your permission to make Kim an offer of marriage."

The first thing that ran through Richard's mind was that Mother and Aunt Agatha had been right after all. Immediately after that, the full implications of the request slammed into him, and he went very still as his insides turned cold.

"I see," he said noncommittally. He took a sip of brandy to grant himself a pause, and the burning in his throat was a welcome distraction from the pain that had suddenly gripped his heart. He grasped his glass in front of him with both hands; it seemed to keep them from shaking quite so visibly. He gained enough control over himself to respond in a rational tone. "Forgive me for stating the obvious, but you haven't known her all that long." That was safe enough, as it only displayed his natural concern as Kim's guardian.

"I'm aware of that," Franton agreed nervously. "I realize that I may appear to be acting in haste, but I know that I am not the only one who has been seeking her favor. I fear that others may soon make the same request, and I wish to be the first."

Richard quailed inwardly at the thought of having to face this conversation multiple times, and a part of him perversely hoped Kim would accept this man to save him from that, at least. A larger part, however, found itself fervently and hopelessly wishing that she wanted no other man but him.

"Besides, I find her a thoroughly fascinating and charming young woman, and I feel certain that I would be happy with her for the rest of my life," Franton went on. Richard took another drink.

Franton sounded perfectly sincere, and he really was a decent sort of fellow, if Richard forced himself to be objective about the matter. Still, for one wildly insane moment, he wanted to refuse the request out of hand. As Kim's legal guardian, he was well within his rights to do so, and he didn't need to give any reason.

But he couldn't do that, for a multitude of reasons.

First of all, Kim would have his head. He remembered quite clearly the dressing-down she'd given him when he'd failed to ask her whether she wished to have a come-out ball, and he had no wish to repeat such a scene. Although Kim was technically Richard's ward, he'd always treated her as more of a partner. He demanded respect and obedience from her only in magic lessons, and that was primarily for safety. She was his equal in cleverness and probably exceeded him in good sense. Hunch, no doubt, would omit the "probably."

More important than all of this, if Kim really thought she could be happy with the marquis, Richard couldn't stand in her way. Ironically, that provided him with the irrefutable proof, if he had still needed it, that he'd managed to fall in love with her. Regardless, he needed to trust her to make her own decision.

"And you believe that she would be receptive to you?" Richard asked, feeling this to be the most vital question.

"I am quite certain of it," Lord Franton responded confidently, and the assurance in his tone served to make what was left of Richard's heart crumble into tiny pieces.

"Very well," he said. "I see no reason to deny your request." That, of course, was a complete lie, but Lord Franton didn't need to know that. "You may make your intentions known to Kim at your convenience."

"Thank you, sir," said Lord Franton, rising from his seat and bowing. Richard set his glass down on a table as he stood also.

"I'll see you out," he offered. He still felt a little shaky, but walking helped. When the front door had closed behind Lord Franton, Richard stared at it for a long moment. Finally, he sighed.

"Please make the staff aware that I do not wish to be disturbed," he ordered, not even bothering to see who the footman was so that he could address him by name. "I want it to be very clear that if anyone comes into the library to address me before morning, the house had better be on fire."

"Yes, sir," came the crisp, if slightly puzzled, response, but Richard scarcely heard it. He took the steps two at a time and escaped into the room that had been his sanctuary during much of his current stay in London. Unfortunately, as he peered into the dimly lit room, it was starting to feel more like a prison.

Richard stepped over to stir the fire briefly, stirring it to give him more light and warmth. He then settled down with his glass and sipped at it as he ran his fingers through his hair, struggling to reconcile himself to what was happening.

For a year, he'd had Kim all to himself in the family's country home in Kent, and he was now beginning to feel that he'd squandered that time. Certainly, they'd done a great deal of magic training, but there had obviously been something lacking that he hadn't realized at the time. It was only back in London, when other men began to show an interest in her, that Richard finally recognized the young woman she'd grown into. She was a far cry from what she'd been when he met her, a scrawny thief dressed in boy's clothing.

Richard snorted softly when he recalled that Hunch and Kim had needed to draw his attention to the changes that had occurred in her over the past year. It was hard to believe that he hadn't noticed on his own. It had just happened so gradually…. Besides, she was always just Kim to him, and that was enough. Who she was had always been more important than what she wore or looked like.

Richard brought the glass to his lips with a sigh and was surprised to discover that it was empty. He filled it up, noting as he did so that the liquor did appear to have steadied him somewhat. He ran his fingers through his hair again.

If he didn't regain his magic, he could no longer serve as her master wizard, and he couldn't expect that she wanted anything else from him. He needed to prepare to let her go.

His loss of magic had made the conversation with Lord Franton doubly hard to bear. He was already useless to Kim as a teacher, and it appeared that he would soon lose her completely to marriage. How ridiculously unfair. He drained his glass and refilled it once more. His head was starting to feel thick, but the brandy was not cheering him up. If anything, he thought it was making him more depressed. Still, it was dulling the pain a little.

Richard sipped this glass more slowly as he considered the situation. He supposed that his real problem was that he'd never thought that things would have to change. Somehow, he'd simply assumed that Kim could stay with him indefinitely as his apprentice. Of course, that wasn't possible. Nothing stayed the same, and Kim was about 18 now (even she wasn't sure exactly when she was born). She would have wanted to move on eventually, in one way or another, and he'd allowed himself to take her for granted. It was a mistake he might spend the rest of his life paying for. His thoughts went back to Lord Franton.

While it was true that Kim had been spending a good deal of time with the marquis, he was not, as Lord Franton himself had stated, her only suitor. In fact, it had always been Richard's impression that she merely accepted every call she received. He did not know whether she was being polite or simply enjoyed being treated like a girl. He grimaced at that thought, realizing that treating her as a woman was one thing he had never really done. It had never occurred to him that she might enjoy it, which was clearly a rather large miscalculation on his part.

As the time passed, Richard couldn't help but think about the advantages Lord Franton had over him. First of all, he was younger. Richard was some 10 years older than Kim. Granted, such matches took place all the time; his own father had been 17 years older than his mother. However, Kim had not been raised in his circles and was probably more accustomed to marriages between people who were nearer in age.

Furthermore, Lord Franton was already a marquis at his young age. Richard was a second son, and as such, had little that he could call his own. His father had left him a substantial annual income, but he had no real property and was not in line for a title of any kind. Most of the time, this arrangement suited him perfectly. Andrew was much better suited to managing lands and people, and Richard was content serving on the Royal College of Wizards and pursuing his magical projects. The mere thought of serving in the House of Lords was thoroughly distasteful. It was only recently that his situation felt at all lacking.

He refilled his glass one more time, leaving the decanter nearly half empty, and cradled it in his hands, trying to reconcile himself to his fate as the fire burned itself down. He didn't know how long he'd sat there before a movement at the door caught his eye. The silhouette made it clear that the intruder upon his solitude was Kim herself, back from tonight's party. He frowned, collecting himself, then forced a joviality he did not feel.

"Ah, Kim! Come in and toast your good fortune," he invited her.

"My good fortune?" she inquired, stepping in hesitantly. Richard wondered what sort of sight he must present. Kim rendered her verdict after regarding him for a moment or two. "You're foxed." She sounded a little surprised, and no wonder – he didn't often indulge in alcohol, and never to excess.

"I'm not foxed yet," he protested, indicating the glass container at his elbow. "The decanter's not empty. There's another glass somewhere; sit down and join me." Kim sat near him but made no move to join him in the drinking. Probably very wise of her; besides, he didn't know where the other glass had gone.

"Don't look so glum," he chastised her, still with the forced heartiness. "You should be celebrating. Though I'll grant you, the prospect of congratulating Aunt Agatha on her perspicacity might take some of the satisfaction out of it." He was quite proud of himself for managing the word "perspicacity" without the least slurring.

"You _are_ foxed," Kim declared. "What are you on about?" Richard raised his eyebrows at her. She really did seem surprised.

"Dear me, don't you know?" At some level, he knew he was torturing her because he'd been torturing himself all evening, but thanks to the brandy haze, he didn't really care.

"No, I don't." Kim was clearly trying not to lose her temper with him, and he made a mental note that his intoxication gave her greater self-control. He couldn't be certain of remembering it, but it was worth the effort. He narrowed his eyes to satisfy himself that she was, indeed, telling the truth. She was definitely unaware of her conquest. Make that _conquests_, if Lord Franton was right. Richard sat back in his chair, and his mouth twisted in self-mockery.

"Ah. Obviously I was mistaken."

"_Mairelon_!" she said sharply, addressing him by the name he'd used when they'd first met, Mairelon the Magician. Normally, he rather enjoyed the nickname, but at the moment, it seemed like a cruel joke. He wasn't a magician anymore. "You're just as annoying foxed as you are sober. Mistaken about what? What are you talking about?"

A part of Richard gained satisfaction from her tone. He so loved it and liked goading her into giving him that charmingly exasperated look. However, he supposed it was time to explain.

"Lord Franton, Marquis of Harsfeld, visited me earlier today," he said. "He asked my permission to pay his addresses to you."

"He – you mean that Tarnower chit was _right_? He intends to make me an _offer_?"

Richard had no idea what Letitia Tarnower had to do with anything, and he didn't much care. Only one woman occupied his thoughts at the moment.

"I believe that is what I just said," he said softly, sinking into his chair and studying his glass. Now came the moment of truth. "He seemed to have no doubt about your answer." He held his breath, waiting for her response.

"He wouldn't," she retorted, practically snorting her disgust, and Richard felt some of the tension inside him ease. She hadn't really changed, after all. For a few hours, he had nearly convinced himself… "Of all the sapskulled things to do! I don't want to marry a toff, especially not a marquis!" Richard sat up straight in his chair, latching onto that last sentence. He looked at her piercingly.

"You don't?" he asked carefully.

"Well, I don't have anything against marquises in general," she amended. "But I don't want to marry Lord Franton."

"Why not?" He remained intently focused upon her. "He's rich, he's titled, he's nearer your age than…" Richard almost bit his tongue at that slip. "He's near your age. And Aunt Agatha was quite right – you couldn't be better established than to marry a marquis." Kim shook her head, as though struggling to explain something she didn't think he could possibly understand.

"If all I wanted was money…Lord Franton's nice enough, but…" she seemed to have trouble finishing her thought, so Richard broke in again.

"You're not still worried about being socially acceptable, are you?" he asked, the self-mockery coming over him again. One of the reasons he'd originally suggested the coming-out ball was to prove that she was just as good a lady as anyone else in their circle. In his opinion, she was actually far superior. Unfortunately, he had succeeded beyond his wildest expectations in presenting her to society. "Not after the triumphs of the past week!"

"Triumphs!" she snorted, and Richard almost smiled at her derision. "I'm just a novelty, like a performing bear, that's all." Richard sobered immediately, seeing that she truly _didn't_ understand or appreciate her pleasing appearance. However, he felt powerless to reassure her in the way she needed.

He knew very well that her unawareness of her beauty was a breath of fresh air in the _ton_ and part of her appeal. Even he, who had been with her through the entire transformation, had not proved immune to her charm. There was probably some truth to what she said, but that wasn't all of it. He lowered his gaze to his glass.

"Lord Franton doesn't seem to think so," he remarked dully, thinking back on his interview with the man.

"Lord Franton ain't got no sense," Kim said flatly, and her forgetting of proper grammar proved that she meant it. However, Richard couldn't help the small smile that crept over his face when he thought how Lord Franton's declaration had made him keenly aware of his own feelings, even if the awareness hadn't come as a complete surprise.

"I didn't think him so utterly senseless as that," he replied dryly.

"Well, you ain't got no sense sometimes, neither," she retorted, and Richard was caught between amusement and agony. If she only knew how close to the mark she was… "Thinking I'd get leg-shackled to a marquis just because – if I'd of been that interested in money, I wouldn't of worked so hard to stay out of the stews all those years."

The bluntness of her analogy very nearly startled Richard sober, and he blinked at her. It didn't seem possible that she was comparing a settled marriage with a nobleman to providing her body to anyone with ready coin.

"It's not the same thing at all," he objected.

"It ain't?" Kim shook her head. "Marrying a marquis because he's rich and titled would be more comfortable and more permanent than working Vauxhall or Drury Lane, but I can't see that there's much other difference."

Richard blinked again. The women of his class often married for money or social position, particularly if they were from a family whose fortunes were fading. He had always taken that for granted, when he'd thought about it at all. It took an outsider like Kim to point out that a woman marrying for those reasons was essentially selling herself to one man instead of many. From her perspective, it was merely a more socially acceptable form of prostitution. Fascinating.

"Ah. I had never considered it in that light," he admitted. He raised his glass, drank from it, then placed it with extra care upon the table. Kim launched into a story about a couple she'd known in her old life, and Richard started to feel better. He should have known her well enough to realize that she wouldn't have her head turned by wealth and a title. She would only go where affection led her, wherever that might be.

"I am justly chastened," he said when she'd finished. However, he still needed to know if she had considered marriage with anyone. "Is there, perhaps, some other gentleman among your suitors whose addresses you _would_ welcome? The marquis gave me to understand that he knew he was being a bit hasty, but he was desirous of, er, beating the competition to the gate."

"You mean he thinks I'm going to get _more_ offers?" Kim appeared to be appalled, and Richard thought she looked quite fetching that way. He was also reassured that she did not seem to have entertained the idea at all.

"He doesn't seem to be the only one who thinks so," he answered. "Aunt Agatha mentioned it to me yesterday afternoon. _Is_ there anyone, or would you prefer that I turn the lot of them away?" Richard thought the powers that be would forgive him for deriving a small amount of pleasure from that idea.

"There isn't anyone," Kim said, shaking her head. Suddenly, she looked down and seemed unhappy. Richard couldn't imagine the reason for that.

"Kim…" he trailed off, confused. What had he intended to do, profess his undying love? Make an offer himself? She'd just said there was no one special in her thoughts, and she'd said, in no uncertain terms, that she didn't want to marry a toff. Surely that included him. "You know, I believe you are right; I _have_ had a little too much of this brandy."

"If you hadn't, you wouldn't have been so nattered about Lord Franton," she chided. "Silly clunch."

"Was that remark meant for me, or for Franton?" Immediately after asking the question, he decided he didn't want to hear the answer. Anyway, Kim was giving no indication that she suspected the real reason he was "nattered," as she so colorfully put it, and perhaps it was best to leave it that way. If she elected to stay with him as a spinster, he thought he could live with that. "Never mind. If anyone else wishes to propose to you, I shall send him away, but I'm afraid you'll have to deal with the marquis yourself.

"I don't—" Kim began, but Richard never found out what she was going to say. She stiffened and informed him that someone was touching the wards around the house. That gave Richard something more immediate to focus on, and he was grateful for the distraction.

--

Review responses:

Rose: It is, isn't it? I'm happy to provide some, and I hope my next update won't take so long. It's a much shorter scene, and it's about half written already.

stillwaiting: I agree; Wrede could have done more to develop the relationship. It also sounded, from the end of Magician's Ward, like she had ideas to continue the series, but that was what – 10 years ago?

Sabine: Thank you. I hope you feel the same way about this chapter. I had just re-read both books when I drafted the beginning of this set, which helped get the mood. I also just finished The Grand Tour the day before finalizing this chapter, so I feel like I'm immersed in her world right now.

mairelon: Your user name kind of says it all here. One thing I love about Wrede's writing is that you can often tell what other characters are thinking by the observations of other characters. However, I still felt that some things about this story deserved to be spelled out.


	3. Chapter 3: Mairelon's Engagement

Disclaimer: I do not own any work of Patricia Wrede's. However, I do own Richard's thoughts in this scene.

Author's Note: This is the last of the three scenes I really thought screamed out for another point of view. However, I have some ideas for things that could have occurred after the book was over, so those might be forthcoming.

**Mairelon's Engagement**

Richard Merrill stood in the center of the star, hoping very hard that this spell would indeed return his magical powers to him. As the ritual neared its conclusion, the large double doors opened. He turned his attention that way and saw Kim running toward him. He automatically began to step toward her but realized that would take him out of the star and stopped.

Kim came to the edge of the star and made a shooing motion toward him, pointing clearly at the floor outside the diagram. Richard glanced toward Duchesse Delagardie, then back to Kim. He knew that he'd impressed upon her how dangerous it could be to interrupt a spell, especially one as powerful as this. When she repeated her gesture with more urgency and with something approaching desperation in her eyes, he decided that she must have learned something important. He had at least a dozen questions for her, but there wasn't time. He just had to trust her.

He stepped sideways out of the star and turned just in time to see Kim step in to take his place. He moved forward again, trying to reach her, but it was too late. The duchesse spoke the final words, and the combined power of the wizards present slammed into Kim.

"Duchesse! The counterspell, quickly!" he called out amid the confused voices. No sooner had the duchesse uttered the three words than Richard had resumed his movement toward Kim, and he caught her as she slumped to the floor. He gently lowered her into a reclining position as he knelt beside her.

"What have you done?" he murmured, but she was unable to answer. She was unconscious, and he found himself sending up a silent, fervent prayer.

_Please, God, let her be all right. _He didn't know exactly why she'd done what she had, but one thing was clear – she had sacrificed herself for him, and he would never forgive himself if she'd done herself irreparable harm in the process.

"Kim? Kim!" he called her name, begging her to respond, an edge of panic creeping into his voice. Kim's eyes fluttered open, fixing on him.

"Mairelon?" she murmured groggily, calling him by the nickname she still preferred to use. That and the comprehension in her eyes proved that she was still herself. "Oh, good, it worked." A part of Richard was angry with her for speaking so casually and for taking the risk she just had, but most of him was simply relieved.

"Thank God!" he exclaimed, and he leaned in and kissed her without even thinking about it. The sensation was utterly delightful, and when he released her lips, there were so many things he wanted to tell her. "Kim, I—"

"I see you have decided to take my advice after all, Richard," his mother interrupted from behind him, sounding amused. "Marrying your ward is _exactly_ the sort of usual scandal I had in mind; I wonder that it didn't occur to me before."

At her words, reality came crashing in, and Richard was completely mortified at what he'd just done. A kiss was supposed to be reserved for married couples or those who were engaged, and he'd kissed a young lady who had no intention of marrying him. Before he could say anything, Aunt Agatha added her voice.

"However, it is quite unnecessary for him to add to the talk by kissing her in public," she observed disapprovingly. "If he _must_ indulge in vulgar behavior, it would be far better done after the notice of his engagement has appeared in the _Gazette_. And in private."

Richard raised his head, unable to look at Kim and see whatever expression might be on her face. The sheer impropriety of the situation was probably mostly lost on her, but he still couldn't believe he had so forgotten himself as to force his attentions on her like that. He schooled his face into a neutral expression, determined not to show the depth of despair and misery that now held him in their grip.

"It was a momentary aberration, Aunt," he informed Aunt Agatha, his voice sounding hollow in his ears. "It won't happen again."

"I should hope not," his aunt prattled on. "It is, perhaps, too much to hope that once you are married you will settle down, but Kim appears to have had at least a little success in keeping you out of trouble. Which is more than can be said for anyone else." Richard gritted his teeth. Every word that she said was like a dagger into a heart, although she had no way of knowing this. At all costs, he had to make her stop.

"You don't understand," he bit out. "Kim doesn't want to marry a toff."

There it was. Now everybody in the room would understand just how inappropriate his behavior was; that he had taken advantage of his ward, whom he had a legal obligation to protect. To Richard's surprise, however, it was Kim who suddenly broke in, issuing a string of epithets that essentially boiled down to calling him a complete idiot. He turned to look at her in astonishment.

"I was talking about the _marquis_, not about _you_!" she concluded emphatically, and for a second or two, Richard could only gape at her as hope tried to burn its way into his consciousness.

"Then you would?" he managed to blurt out. A second later, he could have kicked himself. What sort of way was that to propose to a woman?

"You've whiddled it," Kim assured him, which was hardly a proper response but matched his inept proposal well enough. At any rate, Richard understood her meaning and promptly kissed her again. He was only vaguely aware of conversation around him as he lost himself in her, wondering why he hadn't noticed her reciprocity the first time.

When he finally needed air, Richard could think of only one thing and announced that he would like to immediately send out the notice of their engagement and make everything official.

"In a minute, dear," said Mother, who was looking amused, but not particularly surprised. In fact, _none_ of the other people present appeared to be truly surprised, not even Aunt Agatha. Richard looked around at all of their faces, dumbfounded.

_Good Lord, did _everybody_ know this was coming except me? _he thought with some chagrin. He turned to Kim again and saw from the bemused expression on her face that he had not, in fact, been completely alone in his ignorance. This didn't really make him feel any better, however, since it meant that she had been just as miserable as he had for the past few weeks. He promised himself that he would make it up to her.

While he'd been thinking all of this, his mother had requested an explanation from Kim. Richard felt a little embarrassed when he realized that he and the others involved in the ritual still had no idea what had caused Kim to interrupt in the first place. He'd allowed himself to get distracted, although that was probably forgivable, under the circumstances.

"Mannering!" Kim exclaimed. She tried to sit up but sank back, clearly not feeling altogether well. Richard happily supported her, but he suddenly remembered that she had just been hit with a powerful spell and fallen unconscious. He doubted that he had helped matters by depriving her of air. Honestly, could he be more of a bumbling fool in this whole mess? Kim continued. "He ain't piked off, has he?"

"Mannering?" said Shoreham, frowning. "You don't mean to say you've located the confounded fellow. Where is he?"

"I believe he is currently on the lower stairs," Mrs. Lowe replied implacably. "Richard's man has him in charge, and I expect they will arrive momentarily."

"Aunt Agatha, you amaze me," Richard remarked in genuine astonishment. "How did you come to be, er, involved?"

"If you will assist Kim to one of the sofas, where she may be more comfortable, I am sure she will explain everything," she answered him. "Assisting" did not quite seem to be adequate to Richard, so without further delay, he simply picked Kim up and carried her. Unwilling to break physical contact with her, he then sat beside her and put his arm around her. She leaned into him in a most gratifying way.

Hunch brought Mannering in, and Kim told her tale, with only a few interruptions from the assembled party. Richard couldn't help holding her a little tighter when she revealed that Mannering had been behind the summons she'd received. He had unwittingly sent her into the very lion's den with only Hunch and Aunt Agatha for protection. He should have asked her to stay, offered to go with her, _something_. Of course, if she hadn't gone, she might merely have watched the ritual drain him and the other wizards of not only their talent, but quite possibly their minds as well.

Unfortunately, Richard had still not regained his magic, and it was clearly going to take more effort and time to get it back. However, Kim was safe and sound, which meant more to him than anything else. Besides, now that the duchesse and the others knew which spell Mannering had used, it was just possible that they'd be able to figure out a way to undo it properly.

Above all things, Richard decided that he would devote far more attention to his future wife than he had of late. Also, he promised himself that he would offer her a more decent proposal as soon as they could contrive to be alone.

--

Author's Note: Well, I guess that does sort of leave you waiting for the genuine proposal, doesn't it? Maybe that will be the next chapter. I am sorry this has taken so long, but it was a busy holiday season.

Review responses:

Eavis: Thank you!

My Beautiful Ending: I disagree. I think the book was primarily about relationships – familial and social as well as romantic – and the magic and mystery provided essentially a backdrop. Wrede tends to shy away from romantic development; even in The Grand Tour, the intimate moments were written by Caroline Stevermer.

stillwaiting: That is disappointing, but now that I've read The Grand Tour, I think she used the next plot she originally had in mind for Mairelon and Kim as the basis for that book. I could see Richard and Kim having an adventure similar to that one on their wedding journey.

mairelon: I think it was the favorite of many readers. There's such delicious irony in the reader understanding more about the situation than Kim, even though she's the one observing everything.


	4. Chapter 4: Mairelon's Proposal

Disclaimer: I do not own any work of Patricia Wrede's. However, I do own this scene because it never happened in the book.

Author's Note: This is one way I thought Mairelon might try to make up for not giving Kim a proper proposal. I confess that I drew some of the flavor from a similar scene in _Guardians of the West_ by David Eddings, which I've been rereading.

**Mairelon's Proposal**

At long last, the tale had been told, Mannering had been turned over to the appropriate authorities, and the assembled wizards had departed. The leave-taking had been a rather chaotic mixture of congratulations on Richard and Kim's engagement and promises to make haste to unravel the spell that still held Richard's magic hostage.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that, Richard had managed to send Hunch off to get the betrothal announcement into the _Gazette_. He sank down beside Kim, who was still recovering from her ordeal and had not yet left the sofa. He supposed he ought to make sure she got some food in her before long. After that, she needed some rest.

Suddenly, he realized that they were quite alone. He didn't know for how long, but it seemed as good a time as any to fulfill the promise he had made to himself.

"Kim," he said, taking her hand. She appeared to have been lost in thought, but at the sound of his voice, she turned to him.

"Yes?"

"I was thinking…well, earlier, I'm afraid things got a bit muddled."

"A bit," she agreed, eyeing him curiously.

Richard hesitated before deciding that there simply was no elegant way to propose to a woman who'd already agreed to marry him. He might as well just do it and hope that she wouldn't think him completely mad. He slid down onto one knee in front of her.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"Kim, I just wanted you to know that you are the only woman in the world that I could ever share my life with, and I would be honored and happy beyond measure if you would become wife," he said. It might have been a bit flowery, but it sounded all right to him. Kim blinked at him a few times.

"Are you proposing to me again?" she asked finally.

"Well, I didn't really give you a proper one before," he explained. "I thought you deserved one." She had trouble enough with her confidence, and he didn't want her to think he viewed her as less than a woman just because of her background. In typical fashion, his ward-turned-fiancee shrugged.

"It got the job done, right enough. Still…" she trailed off, her eyes taking on a faraway look.

"What?" he prompted when she did not continue. Kim shook herself slightly and focused on him again, wearing a mysterious smile.

"I'm sorry. I was just thinking that I should have let Lord Franton propose to me after all. It's really quite nice."

"You mean you cut the poor fellow off before he could say a word?"

"That's about the size of it," she admitted.

"I must say, that was rather unkind." Despite his words, however, Richard was secretly elated. In addition to being the one she'd accepted, he had the distinction of being the first man to actually propose to her.

"I know. At the time, I thought it would be less awkward, but I'm not sure it worked out that way." Kim tilted her head thoughtfully. "As dull as the teas and parties usually are, I could get used to the attention."

"I think I've created a monster," Richard remarked, although he smiled to soften the words. He suspected that part of the reason she'd been so swept up in things after her come-out ball was that she'd never really been treated like a woman before, and he knew he bore a lot of the responsibility for that. Yet another thing he could spend the next couple of decades making up for. He was rather looking forward to it.

"No, you've created a woman," she replied, seeming to echo his thoughts even as she gave him a wry grin. "With some help from your mother."

"You know, you still haven't answered me," he reminded her. The floor was rather hard on his knee by this point.

"What? Oh," she blushed faintly. "I didn't think I needed to. You're the only man who really understands me, who's always accepted me for who I am. I can't imagine life without you."

"That's gratifying," he sighed, rising to sit beside her again and giving her yet another kiss.

--

Author's Note: Short but sweet, I guess. I still didn't have anyone say, "I love you," though. Then again, Wrede hardly ever has characters admit that, so I guess it fits.

Review responses:

Harlyn: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Maybe you'll stick around for one or two original scenes of mine, like this one.

Eavis: Thanks!

My Beautiful Ending: I don't know…it would have been nice to see that James and Cecy did more than shake hands after the kiss in the first book, but maybe that's just me. Having been married for over 9 years, I understand how important intimacy is in that relationship. Has Wrede ever married?

stillwaiting4more: Here's a little more. Sorry it was so short, but I do have an idea for at least one more chapter. Then I might turn to re-writing the entire book from Mairelon's perspective, sliding these sections in where they fit.


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